are the intactivists right?

Hmmm.... Considering all evidence and comparing all arguments in my opinion YES. Yes they are.

Yes, it's hard to hear.
Mutilator? Really you're saying I'm a mutilator?? But I love my son and would never do anything to hurt him! It's just NORMAL to have a boy circumcised, it's a quick and painless procedure right? I mean they did it right there in the hospital so clean and professional and modern, I know my kind doctor would never hurt my baby and the nurse told me he didn't even cry. How can you compare that to the violent and backwards FGM that happens in dirty huts in third world countries? Well after looking into it, male circumcision has much more in common with female circumcision than you would like to think. Starting with.....the cutting of genitals for crying out loud! WHY??

Well isn't it ugly? Aesthetics seems to be the most popular reason for circumsicion, saving boys from the ridicule of 'Gross! Anteater!' and wanting them to look just like daddy when comparing equipment. I hate to have to point out the obvious but sorry, the tip is just that. There are a just a few much more major differences between the genitalia of a toddling male child and a full grown man. Like size. Veins. Hair. Low hanging friends. Just to name a few. If beyond all that your young son happens to notice the difference in the length of foreskin how hard is it to say 'Yeah, back in the old days they used to cut the cap off your captain. Isn't that crazy???'

Fathers, ask yourself honestly. Is it YOU that wants your son to assimilate your penile style or are you really concerned about your son feeling strange left just as he's made? Sorry, being posh means you gotta ask the hard questions. For someone who has a great relationship with her Brazilian wax professional I realize it's bit of a double standard to be so disturbed by the this question of porn-approved good genital looks but when it comes to cutting skin, sorry I cannot relate. As a super-posh friend of mine once said 'If someone told me my vagina would be prettier with my clitoris cut off I'd punch them in the face.' Yeah, I have to agree with her there. And we're not alone.

But won't my son hump my couch and get my pretty pillows all dirty? Probably yes, whether your son is circ'ed or not. Yes, little boys bring their own kind of magic don't they? It's a challenge to teach them that exploring their body is all good, but best in the privacy of their own bed during those boring naps. Don't worry boy, the sheets will wash. You enjoy. Seriously, curbing self-pleasure has been an actual reason cited for circumcision and the sad thing is it works to some degree. Circumcised males are reported to masturbate less than their un-circumcised counterparts. I know it's stomach-wrenching to think of your children as sexual beings but it's the TRUTH of their healthy humanity! Respect that! Let them be, and give them your honest wise guidance to deal with it. A circumcised man will vehemently defend his pleasurable experiences and high sex drive and I have no doubt of his truth. But I also have had sex a time or two and understand that prescious inches of sensitive skin + action = GOOD. The more the better. Don't question or cut off nature's brilliance, for all our sakes.

But won't it protect them from getting AIDS? Yeah, like cutting of my breasts would protect me from getting breast cancer. Do we really want to be that interventionist, cutting off body parts from birth?

What about religions that require the cut? Some Jews are coming around, while Christians who very popularly cut without question need to know what their leader quite clearly said about the practice. Especially for the spiritual person who believes firmly in each unique individuals' right to life, isn't an infants' right to genital integrity just as basic?

But ewww, won't it get dirty and infected? As dirty and infected as a vaginal lips would get if you didn't clean them. Thats right it's the EXACT same thing. We can teach our boys genital health just like we teach our girls.

But really, won't he be made fun of? Circumcision rates are dropping all across America, fastest in California and slowest in Texas but dropping none the less. Yes your son will probably be made fun of for something or other while growing up. Will it be his nose? His haircut? Or his last name? His shoes or his wrong answer in class? And what if he's laughed at for the way his dick hangs? What side will he be on, the cut or the uncut? I know which side my sons will be on....and it's not the one I'd choose if I had a do-over.

My husband and I accepted the cultural norm without question. We learned about the non-reasons for circumcision and the associated risks too late to change hearts and minds. I don't cry at every diaper change or stress they'll grow into less of the men they are meant to be. But, I do have regret for things I did not know and I DO talk to every expectant couple I know and ask the question of whether they want to keep their son intact. I am just as forthright with my children in hopes they will make different decisions for their own sons.

I admit I've only known one thing and it will always be beautiful, welcome, perfect and whole in my eyes. But in short....FULL FORESKIN IS JUST FINE. To illustrate this point (yes this and all puns within this post are fully intended) I leave you with this totally posh gallery of intact men.

Your welcome.

And PLEASE please read through the recent series of excellent articles published in Psychology Today regarding the many myths about circumcision you probably believe, consider the concern over the emotional ramifications of forced genital surgery, realize the reality of the risks and allow yourself to be open to this persuasive Dick Move.