in praise of midwifery

To those who promote physiological birth and work to create the optimal conditions to support it, to those who show us how graceful the mechanism of birth can be and how essential utilizing our own equipment is, who honor the hours following birth.

Thank you.

To those who know human rights are essential to optimal maternity care, who work to develop relationships of trust with the women they serve, who believe in providing individualized care and take into account each unique woman's personal history, culture, family structure and desires to help them achieve the safest and most satisfying birth possible for their baby.


Thank you!


To those who tell us 'Your body is not a lemon!' .....thank you.


For the average healthy woman wanting to birth her baby vaginally without force of intervention, the model of midwifery care is an excellent place to start! I encourage any mother to at the very least interview a midwife, so you truly have an idea of what your care options are. Birth Centers provide safe and beautiful spaces to welcome your baby and of course, there's no place like home for a birth to live up to your conceptions. I found my excellent homebirth midwife through the Texas Association of Midwives, where will you find yours?

Some families have found their midwifery care on Ina May's famous Farm, be sure to add her latest book Birth Matters: A Midwife's Manifesta to your library - I know I can't wait!

"Classically, midwives have been the wise women who looked out for their communities: they were the women to whom you would go to get help with burying your grandparents; the women who would come with hot meals for the family when the husbands have been ill; they were mature women who never gossiped or betrayed confidences. They furthered wise action and harmony in their communities, and in turn, their communities took care of and honored the midwives. A midwife’s role should be to promote harmony." ~ Gloria Lemay

"My community made me a midwife by asking me to attend births, I apprenticed directly to birth itself. My promise as spiritual midwife is to honor the journey, be attentive to what presents itself, and remind a mother by my presence that she already knows how to give birth." ~Jeannine Parvati Baker

Give back to those who mother so many by engaging in ways to change birth globally and get involved locally by supporting groups that work to protect and increase access to midwifery care.

To those midwives who attend twins and breech babies at home - thank you from the bottom of my heart!

teaching gentleness

to little gentlemen is my primary task in daily life with 17 month old twin sons. How best do to it?

I grew up with spankings for discipline, I don't know what my parents remember or think of those days but in my own memories I know I felt like I deserved what was given. I remember being spoken to in serious, low tones and looked right in the eyes with explanation of why what I did was wrong. The resulting consequence was detailed next, followed by a calm count of '1 2 3' with the consequential spank followed by big hugs and words of love. Spanks were usually by hand but sometimes with a wooden spoon, most memorably the time my Dad surprisingly whacked the spoon across the bottom of his own shoe, going through the motion but wanting to spare me on my birthday. Love you forever Daddy!

I never realized how abusive spanking could be until I was fully grown and had conversations with friends who commiserated that they were also spanked, but their stories were of parental anger provoked by simple things like a missing pair of scissors and countless strikes not limited to a clothed bottom. Stories of shoes thrown viciously at small heads in drunken anger, smacks across the face accompanied by cruel words, and far worse. WOW, I had never felt afraid of my parents. What my friends knew as spanking was NOT what 'spanking as discipline' had been for me.

In defense of the way I was parented and lovingly disciplined I felt there was a 'right' way to spank, and naturally did the same thing when I became a parent myself. Around 2 years of age my daughter gave me a wild eyed look and ran as fast as she could into a busy street, laughing at me as I screamed at her to 'STOP'!! She was quickly captured, the danger and wrongdoing of her actions explained, a count of '1 2 3'....and you know the rest. Same thing when she gave me that daredevil grin and proudly unbuckled her seatbelt while we were hauling down the interstate, after pulling over three times in a row as she giggly continued her game I finally gave her the consequence I thought would help her tiny mind to get it. Guess what she has NEVER run into the street since and has been stringent in observing our rule of waiting to unbuckle until the driver does. So did discipline by spanking 'work'? I suppose so. But spanking had only been one tool used only on occasion and primarily for safety issues, simply talking to her and most importantly guiding her in advance toward positive behavior were the most stellar stars in my toolbox. Especially after watching the phenomenon of my little girl at three effectively put herself in time-out by voluntarily choosing to go into her 'mad house' when she became frustrated and angry I started to seek out the wisdom of a few super posh friends who never spanked their kids and began to wonder if some of the other, more gentle means I employed wouldn't have worked just as well for those times I felt a swift swat had been necessary.

Her little brother came along, and no matter what he did a spanking in response never felt right. I purposed to tap into these children, to respect their journey of learning and decided that physical force no matter how graciously metered out and lovingly given did not have a place in our relationship. Being surprised with twin boys next, I was so grateful for my new conviction as I could not imagine having a physical relationship involving anything but hugs and kisses with so many boys who promise to soon be big strong men.

Oh but darn....they have a few physically violent ideas of their own. Like little angry animals soon after they turned a year they started going after each other tooth and fist first in the quest to stake territory over treats, toys and yep even my breasts. Yikes! What to do?? I had learned quickly with my daughter that hitting a child in attempt teach them not to hit felt.....insane. I mean seriously.

So it's been all about how it feels to be hurt. Not posh for anyone right? Certainly not for me, and those rolling tears I see my tiny men cry when they are victims of each other say they don't enjoy it either. Talking to them like they are people (what a concept!) and knowing teaching will take time is starting to pay off. Today one little son got mad, going after my face with slapping hands and his twin came running to my rescue saying 'no no no' with a waving finger and got his brothers attention. The angry one stopped and suddenly they both started saying 'gentle' while softly patting my cheeks, following up with kisses. SWEET SUCCESS!!!

Teaching a child the joy of making good decisions on their own takes time and patience while imparting a lesson deeper, truer and so much more meaningful than immediate compliance forced by fear.

I hope Michael and Debi Pearl learn this truth in light of the tragic death of a child at the hands of their discipline method detailed in their books 'To Train Up A Child'.

Yes I had major beef with Babywise but my friend Mary is right that it makes the abuse sanctioned by the Ezzos small potatoes compared to the family violence encouraged by the Pearls. All based on the Bible, with tragic human error in interpretation. The rod. Intended to be a gift of guidance, twisted to be a tool of torture. How and why? Dark deception, exactly how and why I am heartbroken over and overwhelmed in attempt to apologize for.

Please, teach and model gentleness in your life, beyond your children and to everyone you encounter. Regardless of what some 'Christians' preach know that Jesus Christ taught and modeled the treatment of any person and especially the smallest to be simply of grace and sacrificial love.

And PLEASE read Mary's moving post on this issue, don't forget to watch the Anderson Cooper clip and pray for the Pearls to have a serious change of heart, along with anyone deceived by their tragically flawed parenting principles.

The Secret Is Inside You

Of course it is! The amazing placenta. So many benefits!

I had never spent much time thinking about or appreciating any particular inner organ but have grown to discover and love many parts of myself, my uterus and I are awesomely good friends now. Yep. Did you know that during pregnancy your body grows an entirely new inner organ? The very first creative collaboration between you and your child, if you want to get romantic about it. I get sentimental over every Crayola red painted handprint, every tootsie pop tarantula and batch of blueberry muffins I help my brilliant kids make but it took me a while to appreciate this natural creation of gestation.

After my first baby born in the hospital, 'Ugh, yeah you have to give birth to it too, grossssssss' is what I reported to my VIP girlfriends.

After my second baby in a birthing center I'm sure the midwives were horrified as I looked at them blankly when they asked if I wanted to keep my sons' placenta and replied 'What, why? Ew, no.'.

By the next time I found myself pregnant I had gotten a bit of an education on the placenta and earned a new respect for Matthew McConaughey. I could not WAIT to see in person the placentas I had seen on ultrasound screen and looked forward to their births as a grand finale. My placenta encapsulation specialist was the first person I called right after my midwife with the news I was in labor.....before I called my mom.

I had prepared myself for two placenta births but they turned out to be fused together and needed just one push to be born. They were pretty darn gorgeous to me in my blissed-out birthy state, my midwives thought so too and made a big fuss over arranging the hanging umbilical cords around the conjoined placentas to make out the shape of a heart. aww....so cute. Snap snap snap went their cameras.

Lindsey from Placenta Benefits was super cute herself in her chef outfit and was professional as she was kind and enthusiastic. 'So cool you have TWO placentas! You'll probobly have enough left over to take during menopause! ' she said as she washed and prepped the placentas, cut them into small peices and placed them in a dehydrator to dry overnight. The next day she returned to turn the dried pieces into powder to stuff into capsules, presenting me with two jars of placenta pills as she had kept each placenta separate, just for fun.

There is conflict over the validity of the research behind placenta benefits, but after reading so many positive personal accounts I figured why not? Adding them to my regular vitamin regime was easy and I definitely saw a difference in my recovery compared to the births of my two older children. Yes I was still exhausted from pregnancy and birth and caring 'round the clock for two babies but my emotions felt more even and I coped better then I ever had before. I was told by well-meaning family and friends that I probably wouldn't be able to make enough milk to feed two babies and while I knew they were wrong I was so glad for the potential lactation support from the placenta pills. With my uterus as big as it had ever been, it shrank faster than it had before and postpartum bleeding became lighter and disappeared weeks earlier than it had after my first two babies.

The claims of those who partake include:
*Hormone balance
*Enhanced milk supply
*Increased energy
*Prevention of postpartum depression
*Less postpartum bleeding
*Quick return of the uterus to pre-pregnancy size
*Source of vitamins, minerals and nutrients

Everything a new mother needs, right there inside her. Even if she's a vegan who avoids meat for moral issues since no living creature was harmed in acquiring this organ placentophagia can be compatible with with kind food philosophies.

Don't let this precious piece of life be thrown into the biohazard bin, or worse sold off to be made into shampoo. MoonDragon gives us the details on cultural rituals performed with placentas through the ages, along with some interesting recipes including a placenta cocktail with tequila. Nope not kidding! I'm also not kidding when I say that as easy as the pills are to swallow, knowing what I know now about the power of placenta I would gratefully eat it raw if I needed to. Stories of mothers who have managed postpartum hemorrhaging this way are fascinating, bringing comfort to know of this readily available natural resource.

Respect birth, respect babies and our incredible bodies. Utilizing every gift and talent of nature to it's fullest is the ultimate in respect, and results in optimum outcomes.