awww....but I loooooved the swaddle! And so did my babies. After a few hours of waketime when the fussiness set in, it was swaddle to the rescue along with swoooshing, singing, shusshing, swinging, ......I think that makes Dr. Karp's 5 S's right? hmm...no that sounds a little off but it's been a while. Whatever, it worked! And I thought the man was pretty much a genious for giving me such simple and effective tools to calm my baby.
I took much pride in my tight burrito wrap, 'You could work in a taco shop!' my Dad proudly said as he watched me in action, deftly folding the top corner down, placing sweet baby neck-length at the top of my blanket fold, holding one arm down and wrapping one side of blanket over, holding it firm with one forearm as I quickly pulled the other side over another tiny held down arm, finishing up with a cute little wrap of the blanket's tail and all of the sudden I have a snug little bug ready for breast and bed.
What's so wrong with that???
A lot, apparently. Even *gasp*.... DANGER as one source touted this news of too-tight baby-wrapping. Danger for my child's emotional and physical development, caused by a practice I have been taught by trusted professionals, had immense success with and grown to love. The latest of parenting news in 'YOU'RE DOIN' IT WRONG!' comes loud and clear the more you dive in, it's something new every day. *sigh* But dammit I'm trying so hard!
Aren't we all? And aren't we all entitled to mistakes? And aren't we all blessed with the gift of learning? Yes we are all blessed with this life-long process of frustration that ultimately leads to our growth.
Nothing to beat yourself up over, nothing worth diving into a pit of despair. But very, very much worth the openess of your heart and mind.
Not so open that your brains fall out, or so loose that you lose track of your heart.....but please. Please in this internet age of exposure to the point of indecency, where potentially offensive ideas and statements can pop out at you from your FB page or your favorite friendly forum, challenge yourself to consider the news without losing yourself. Don't take things too personally, and if something does hit home in a major way....let it simmer. Decide whether it's an issue you really could benefit from exploring, or if a quick round file is it's best place. In and right out of your head and suddenly you're stronger for it. Way to be posh!
But if finding that strength involves deeper work....do not be afraid. Do not be afraid to face mistakes, especially those you didn't even know you were making, or that you were forced into. Or that you have resisted regretting. Our mistakes teach us so much, looking hard in the mirror and allowing yourself to see imperfection teaches us so much and there is so shame in that.
Do not let shame and guilt be your barriers to personal growth, and barriers for social change for us all.
We're way too posh. xoxo
Bless you for writing about this, Katie!
ReplyDeleteI've had an intuitive aversion to swaddling ever since I read about it.
I suspect it is fine for SOME babies-- and like a lot of things not for ALL babies.
Fortunately, babies "bounce" & heal so quickly when there is plenty of love available...
Thank you Sondra! The history of swaddling in that article I linked was so interesting to read, but even though they say that parents today don't use it as a way to neglect their children statements such as these seem to contradict that:
ReplyDelete"Nicholson and others note that other tools for soothing a baby can work at least as well as swaddling and have additional benefits. For example, carrying baby in a fabric baby carrier provides a similar sense of comfort but with the added stimulation of the mother’s movement and closeness to her body and the rhythm of her heartbeat. “What I love about a baby carrier is that the baby is up seeing the world. Babies are very observant, and they really love that motion,” she says. Other excellent tools for calming a fussy baby include skin-to-skin contact and gentle infant massage. “We (at API) talk a lot about the importance of touch,” Nicholson says."
and
"Dr. Fleiss agrees. “The best way to prevent crying is to keep your baby in your arms and be attentive to his beautifully subtle and effective communication efforts,” he believes. “Yes, this is a lot of work. Caring for babies is the hardest work there is, but it is also the most rewarding,” he stresses. “I guarantee that you will look back upon the physical closeness you experienced with your child during his babyhood as the most meaningful and cherished moments of your entire life.”
For me swaddling went beautifully with babywearing, co-sleeping, breastfeeding, and infant massage. I often had my babies swaddled in their slings, swaddled as they slept in my arms and swaddled as they nursed. With twins, swaddling made physically managing two babies at once easier and felt much safer, and it made certain nursing positions possible. I also had some of my best burping success using swaddling.
I feel very good about how I did things, but as a doula I am always glad for new information and will definitely talk to new parents about the concerns with swaddling.