Of waiting on your baby. They can feel like eternity! When I hit 38 weeks with twins I began to coax my small passengers 'Runway is cleared hot, it's go time boys! Let's go let's GO!' They had little minds of their own, and tiny lungs to still develop. I found it so fascinating to learn that it is not a mothers body, but her baby that triggers the start of labor.
I watched my due date come and go...which was especially surprising for a twin pregnancy and I had to work just a little bit to keep my sanity and keep my perspective on what was important. Here are a few things that helped me make the most of that trying time.
*Knowing most likely, never in my life would I be THAT pregnant again. I would never ever be able to hold my sons this tightly and so close to my heart, and I'd spend the rest of my life trying.
*Getting my exercise on. Staying active through pregnancy is important, though clearly you should listen to your body and modify your routine to fit your current strength and energy level. Wanting to be sure we went to 36 weeks I had relaxed on working out after about week 32 to avoid stressing my body and bringing on labor prematurely. But after 38 weeks I felt an intense drive to mobilize! If you're up for it push yourself in yoga, hoola hoop 'till your baby drops and walk walk walk, hike up and down steep-inclined billygoat hills if it feels good. It did to me!
*Giving in to good old fashioned crying jags. It began to feel like my own personal Groundhog Day, waking up pregnant again every morning. Crying in the shower felt so good to let it all out and give my emotions the room they needed to sort out and welcome another beautiful day. It WILL be another beautiful day dammit!
*Kept a sense of humor and wore horizontal stripes, going full-on embracing bumblebee style.
*Appreciating those extra days of waiting, being blessed at the surprising things that happened to bring my family closer and prepare us to meet our new members, in ways we didn't even know we needed. Doing a little extra stocking of my freezer with ready-made meals for my husband to defrost and serve to me on tray with fresh flowers for the first 30 days as he pledged on his own accord. What a guy right??
*Making a mess and a memory with a belly cast!
An especially fun project to do with children, easy and cheap too with pre-pasted plaster strips from the craft store. Just cut the strips to the desired length, dip in a bowl of warm water and layer them across your beautiful pregnant body. *TIP* Liberally apply petroleum jelly FIRST! While getting stuck in plaster made for a hilarious scene I will never forget, it was a painful process peeling the cast off and one I'd advise you to pass on. Lube up!
But what if the magic week of 40 passes you by? Normal full-term pregnancies usually result in spontaneous labor between 37 and 42 weeks, but know that your due date may not be what it seems.
As you approach 40 weeks you'll likely find yourself thinking about options to induce labor or be asked to induce by your care provider. There is concern over the rate of stillbirth shown to increase in very late pregnancies, but researchers report their studies are flawed and the midwifery community takes a more conservative approach to managing post-date babies. PLEASE do not take this decision lightly, a labor that starts spontaneously is by far superior in achieving in a progressive labor and healthy birth. The circumstances of your life, your health and the health of your baby will be your deciding factors and are YOUR OWN to weigh and ultimately choose Posh Mama. Clearly if your baby is showing signs of distress an induction can save their life. But an unnecessary induction can make your labor more painful, less productive and increase your chances of needing surgical assistance to birth your baby. Also, if your baby is born before they are ready it's more likely they will have breathing difficulties and need time in the NICU.
I have had two pregnancies go 10 days past 40 weeks and was pressured to induce with both of them. My twin pregnancy presented the most pressing and stressful decision for me. My midwife was getting a bit nervous, my husband was beyond ready to have his boys in his arms and our perinatologist put the most pressure on but his reasons were not persuasive to me. More convincing than his main argument of 'I was five weeks past where I needed to be' was the proof from his ultrasounds showing both my babies to be big and healthy, surrounded by ample amniotic fluid with perfectly functioning placentas. I had been having prodromal labor for over a week, erratic contractions that lasted a few hours then stopped. My 'Baby A' was engaged so low in my pelvis I joked that he could see daylight. Especially since I had a history of full-term and 'past due' babies resulting in live healthy births I appreciated his opinion but felt most confident that true labor was clearly imminent and there was no compelling reason to risk artificially rushing it.
I was however doing what I could to push my body over that edge.
*By having as much sex as my husband would put up with! Sperm with all it's fantastical prostoglandins is helpful in ripening the cervix and the hormonal benefits of getting physical with the one you love can help get your body, heart and mind in the right place for the birth process to begin.
*Getting on my electric breastpump for 20 minutes a few times a day. Nipple stimulation is powerful in triggering uterine contractions, and it's so exciting to see those liquid gold drops of colustrum before your baby is born.
*Drinking lots of Red Raspberry leaf tea and Emergen-C, tons of water, eating and resting intuitively. When labor is right around the corner be full of nutrients and rested up! Though trust me, I know how the discomfort of late pregnancy makes sleep nearly impossible, just get what you can.
*Getting massages and requesting labor-triggering pressure points be worked.
*Taking Evening Primrose Oil, which is also be helpful in ripening the cervix.
*Getting into my meditation and visualization. The mind calming and body relaxing techniques I had employed through pregnancy in preparation for birth had a serious dress rehearsal or two. If your minds eye sees it and you believe it, you can achieve it!
*I also took a turn inward, closing off some portals to the outside world and coming into my cave. Most specifically my Facebook feed and internet friends who had been amazing support and inspiration through pregnancy but inadvertently added to my pressure in those final delicate hours. I couldn't look at my phone either, responding to texts from eager friends and family asking 'babies yet?' began to grate the nerves with the repetitive answer of 'NOPE'. Taking time to really tune out from the others and tune in to my babies, my body and those in my innermost trusted circle helped me to stay confident and calm.
Other things mothers report that seemed to bring on labor include eating spicy food and eggplant parmesan, acupuncture, taking a bumpy ride over railroad tracks....you will hear all kinds of interesting things from friends, family and strangers on the street that you can try if you want.
If you decide on induction for compelling evidence-based reasons, chose wisely! Personally I was set to go for a full 42 weeks then induce with a castor oil cocktail, a membrane sweep by my midwife along with some serious time on the breastpump and tinctures of cohosh. If you are right on the edge these things can work well, here's the story of a super posh friend of mine who began the birth of her daughter using some of these methods.
Tara & Quinn
I finally gave birth to our baby girl on Thursday, July 1st 2010.
A day earlier, Mike and I had a 9:00am appointment at the birthing center. I was really anxious because I was not having any indications of contractions or oncoming labor. My body wasn't doing anything and we were running out of time. I was so exhausted. Quinn was on day 11 of being over-due and I would have to be induced three days later if we weren't able to stir up contractions. Jean, the owner of the birthing center met with Mike and I and did an internal exam. To our dismay, I was still only at about 1 1/2 cm's and 40% effaced. To top it off, Quinn hadn't even dropped yet. She was floating above my pelvic bone and not putting any pressure on the nerves that stimulate contractions. Not very good for being almost 42 weeks pregnant. They had advised for me to drink castor oil at our previous appointment but I was hesitant and neglected to follow their instructions (stupid Tara!). Jean gave me a bit of a lecture (eeek!) telling me that at this point I would HAVE to try the castor oil since it was one of the only homeopathic natural remedies that could help push my body into labor if I were to remain a patient at the birthing center. It was more about getting Quinn out at this point, mostly because after 42 weeks the placenta starts to break down, the amniotic fluid starts to dry up and the baby continues to grow bigger and bigger. They were estimating she would be around nine or ten pounds at this point so the pressure was on!
I was nervous about taking the castor oil, only because the repercussions can be a bit intense (it's a natural laxative soooo... I'll let you use your imaginations, haha.) So I stopped by the grocery store and picked up the most fatty, chocolatey, rich Rocky Road ice cream that I could find and mixed it with the castor oil and some soy milk in the blender once I got home. I put that sucker in a giant beer glass and downed it as quickly as I could....BLECH! Nothing on the face of the earth can mask that taste of thick, goobery, cooking-oil-smelling lipgloss-consistency grossness, but I got it down and tried to fall asleep as quickly as possible before I could let my brain realize what I had just ingested. About two hours later at 1:30, I woke up with some grumbles and about twenty minutes after that a few contractions started. By 3:00 or so, I started to feel consistent contractions happening every six minutes. I walked around the house for a bit and fell back asleep watching The Sand Lot on Netflix. About an hour later I awoke to much stronger contractions. I used my trusty iPhone app to time how closely together they were happening...two to three minutes apart! Holy! I was a bit in shock and really wondering if my body could possibly be going into labor so quickly. I remembered the midwives telling me that I would know when to call them when I was having trouble talking through contractions...and that time had come! We were planning on having a nice dinner with our families that evening and I emerged from our room, having trouble talking, right as Mike's parents had walked through the door. I walked over to his desk and asked if he could call the birthing center right as he was finishing his last email for work...perfect timing! A few minutes later, Jean was on the phone with me trying to confirm that I in fact was having contractions two minutes apart. She told us to come to the birthing center with our bags but to not be disappointed if we get sent home considering that I could be in false labor since I had absolutely no signs of labor earlier that morning. Mike calmly grabbed all of our things and we got into the car.
After getting stuck in some traffic and avoiding as many speed bumps/train tracks as possible, we arrived to the birthing center and made it inside by 5:00. Everyone was waiting for us and Jean excitedly brought me into the exam room. I was having trouble paying attention to everything they were talking about, only because my contractions were coming two at a time by that point. But...the great news was that I was at 3 1/2 cm, 100% effaced and Quinn had dropped at was at zero station! Jean was laughing and in complete shock. It was time to go to our birthing room! As we made our way down the hallway, all of the midwives were excitedly talking and in disbelief at how quickly my labor had progressed. I felt really encouraged and excited too, but was actively concentrating on staying as relaxed as possible. When we made it into our room, Mike busted out his iPod and put on some relaxing music as Jean helped me into the hot shower to try to soothe the pain I was in. That wound up being my favorite place to be! I must have sat in there for hours....the hot water on my back while I sat on the birthing ball was incredibly soothing. It helped me relax my muscles through each contraction.
By 7:00pm, I was at 5cm dilated and by 10:00 I was at 7cm! No one could believe it....but I could!! The rushes that I was feeling were getting stronger and stronger. It was difficult to relax sometimes, only because they were occurring one on top of the other with little resting time in between. At the same time, I was willing them to come quickly so I would be that much closer to having the baby. Our midwives Vickie and Charlotte drew me a bath hoping to help me cope a little more comfortably. The water felt awesome and allowed me to contort my body in different ways to help with the growing intensity but man, by 11:00 I was in the transition phase and was having a lot of trouble fighting the urge to push! That was by far the most awkward feeling I've ever had. My body was practically convulsing....struggling to push while my brain was telling it not to. In between these crazy urges, Mike said I kept falling asleep. I was leaning on the edge of the tub and my face would fall down into the water, waking me back up. I remember feeling incredibly thirsty and exhausted during this point.
Vickie had me get out of the tub and lay down on the bed so she could examine me again. I was fully dilated at this point but apparently a part of my cervix had still not pushed back over Quinn's head so she was urging me to resist pushing to avoid inflammation of any tissues. Holding back was so excruciatingly difficult! I was trying to quickly blow air out while fighting the pushing urges but it was getting so tough. Mike was trying so hard to comfort me and keep me relaxed... I remember him softly rubbing my shoulders and running his fingers through my hair. He kept feeding me water through a straw too, hehe. About thirty minutes later, I knew my body was ready, whether my cervix was or not! After no progress during this time, Vickie finally decided to let me go with the pushing urges to see if that might push the cervix back. The second I was allowed to push....it felt AMAZING! Such a weird feeling! This rolling wave of momentum would thunder and roll through my chest, down through my stomach and pelvis and toward my legs. At the end of each push, I could feel this rush of pressure release and slowly push the baby down. Through each contraction, I strived to reach that last point where I could feel Quinn slowly moving through the birth canal. It was the only sign that indicated that I was making progress getting her out.
After about forty five minutes of pushing was when things got REALLY intense. Quinn was lodged in the birth canal and not moving. Mike and the three midwives were hovering over me at that point...encouraging me to push as hard as I could. In between contractions, Mike would put the oxygen mask on me and encourage me to drink to stay hydrated. Apparently I was turning colors, haha. I was trying SO hard to push at this point...I wanted to see her so badly! My body almost had a mind of its own because I can't remember very much. The only thing that stands out to me was Mike excitedly shouting "You've got this Tara!!!!!!!! Come on!!! You can do it!!!!" and helping to hold my legs while I pushed. I remember Vickie saying something about how the baby was coming out with one of her arms up by her head and that her shoulders were stuck. They had to get her out NOW. And I really remember the extreme pressure once she used her hands to physically twist Quinn's body around inside of me to pull her out one shoulder at a time at 1:02am.
I vaguely remember a little grey body on my chest and looking at Mike to try to figure out what was going on. I was so exhausted and delirious, the only thing that made sense to me was seeing him there beside me. I looked up at some point to see Vickie putting an oxygen mask on Quinn and rubbing her little body vigorously. They then put a little tube down her throat to start sucking out fluid. I rested while all this was happening, too confused and tired to understand that there was eventually a (8lb 11oz!!!!) baby laying on my chest again. They even had me cut her umbilical cord! I can barely remember doing it! But what I do remember is the sweet sound of a baby crying. I immediately snapped out of my post delivery trance that I was in and I looked over to see my sweet Mike holding a little bundle of flailing arms and legs! Whewwwwwww!!
It was such an incredible experience....I just can't believe I did it. I DID IT!!! I had her just the way that I wanted and it really wasn't that bad. Of course there were some incredibly intense parts but I am proud of myself for staying calm and letting my body do what it was meant to do. It felt extremely encouraging to have faith that my body knew what to do....and I think that's what helped my labor progress so quickly. I am also so grateful for Mike and how wonderful of a partner and coach that he was. He stayed so calm and attentive, constantly encouraging me and embracing me when I was struggling through contractions. I couldn't have gone through this without him. What an amazing man!!
That's Quinn's birth story. I wanted to write it down before time encourages forgetfulness. Mike and I are both so happy, Quinn is so incredibly precious, sweet and beautiful.
The culmination of a pregnancy is just as hormone-driven as it's conception. Do not underestimate the power of your state of mind and the connection between your thoughts, your body and your baby. Believe and expect the best, and know that you are strong enough to handle the unexpected with your open heart.
