If I were going to give birth in a hospital

my moonshot list of care to request and decline would look like this....


*minimal u/s scans through pregnancy

*no induction before 42 weeks (unless evidence of fetal distress)

*no epidural

*ability to move freely

*privacy, minimal staff in attendance

*control of room lighting

*no cervical checks

*no heparin lock

*fetal monitoring with doppler only

*wear my own clothes

*have my own food & drinks

*no time constraints

*birthing ball, birthing stool

*room with a bathtub and slower

*allow waters to break naturally

*freedom to choose birthing position

*freedom for my husband or I to catch our own baby if desired

*delayed cord cutting

*keep placenta

*baby in my arms only for first few hours unless I request assistance

*spontaneous birth of placenta

*baby's own clothes and blankets

*lactation consultant, breastpump

*place for father to room in

*baby stays with me, no nursery visits

*no circumcision

*NO BOTTLES

*early discharge


Okay, so I know much of what I listed is totally against most hospital policy and would be impossible to get but like I said it's shooting for the moon. Why not?

The most important thing when negotiating for evidence-based care with an obstetrician and L&D nurses is to be calm, kind and gracious. It is a hard thing to ask people to do their job differently, or to not do it at all. Most doctors and nurses are wonderful people who love mothers and babies and the last thing you want is to create a struggle or be in a place where you feel like you are having to 'fight'. At least for me, birth is all about being soft and open, letting go and trusting. It is not the time to have to direct your energy toward controlling others. This is where having a doula for support, and working with your OB far in advance on your desires for care during birth can be extremely helpful in having everyone in agreement and on the same page.

Taking the hospital tour and hanging back afterward to chat with the nurses and ask questions can be extremely helpful too. You never know who will be on shift when you go into labor, but the chance that you could make a connection is worth it. Getting more familiar with what will be your birthing space will only help your comfort and boost your confidence.

What am I missing from my list Posh Mama's? What made your hospital birth a success, or what did you learn from a frustrating experience you would like to pass on to others? What negotiating tactics worked for you in obtaining a natural birth in a hospital setting?